My Story

I didn’t have the privilege of being raised in a Christian home. For twenty-seven years I didn’t know who Jesus was. O, I knew He was someone the world talked about once a year. But I didn’t understand His saving grace or why He died.

My childhood was lost in the pain and dysfunction of a broken home. My brother went to jail before he graduated from High School. Throughout my college years I immersed myself in drugs and alcohol. During those years I met my future wife. I didn’t realize, at the time, that she came from a Christian home. I have to admit that I saw Bibles laying around when I visited her family, but there was never any indication that she took her faith serious. After marriage and our first child, she began attending church. I felt this would pass. I kept waiting for her to quit. But she faithfully loaded the car every Sunday with the baby and all the diapers and baby bottles.

Over time I began feeling guilty as I watched her carry my daughter in one arm and the baby paraphernalia in the other. I began attending with her. Over time I came to a crossroad. I had to run from it all or submit my life. Needless to say I gave my mess to Jesus.

Thirty years of living without Jesus left me with a “bunch” of bad habits and dysfunction…and habits don’t die easily. Today, they continue to hound me.

To be frank with you, I am going to be a bit apprehensive as I stand before God on Judgement Day. Because there’s so much in my life that I am not proud of. On that Day I will probably stammer and stutter and clear my throat as I try to cover all my bases. I’ll say, “God, I’m sorry about all the evil, would you forgive me for what I did and what I didn’t do? Forgive me for the grarbage in my life.”

God will pull out His record book and say, “Fred, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Look! There’s blood all over the pages of your life¹. I can’t read a thing.” Then Jesus will lean over His Father’s shoulder and say, “Father, that’s because Fred belongs to me. The blood proves He’s mine.”

¹ I used this story at a table talk before the faith community I was assembled with ate and drank the Lord's Supper. When I mentioned the record book and the pages of life with blood on them, I opened a journal I had brought wth me covered with ketchup as an illustration.